Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Hans Gruber

YIPPEE-KI-YAY! THIS IS THE BEST NON-HOLIDAY CHRISTMAS MOVIE EVER!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

“COME OUT TO THE COAST. WE’LL GET TOGETHER. HAVE A FEW LAUGHS…”

From the best non-holiday Christmas movie, we present… Argyle… and his 1988 Lincoln Town Car Stretch Limousine.

Die Hard is a 1988 American action film directed by John McTiernan. It stars Bruce Willis. It is based on the 1979 novel Nothing Lasts Forever by Roderick Thorp. The film follows New York City police detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) who, on vacation, gets caught up in a terrorist takeover of a Los Angeles skyscraper.

Focusing mostly on the limo… officer John McClane arrives at the Los Angeles airport, greeted by plucky driver Argyle, who ferries him in his 1988 Lincoln Town Car Stretch Limousine, to Nakatomi Plaza. Once they arrive, Argyle parks the limo in the garage to wait for McClane after the Christmas party he is attending with his estranged wife.

Throughout the film, they cut to Argyle waiting in the underground parking lot in his limo, just in case McClane’s reconciliation with his wife goes poorly and he has to make a sharpish exit, however, Argyle ends up being integral to foiling the bad guys’ plot.

Argyle is rocking Christmas in Hollis Queens in the limo when McClane calls him on the mobile phone. But before McClane can tell Argule what’s going on, the connection gets cut off. Argyle later learns, through the news, that the building is under the control of terrorists. Nervous and wanting to flee, Argyle drives towards the underground garage exit but finds the gate has been lowered.

Later, Argyle watches a suspicious man preparing the “getaway” ambulance for the bad guy and his henchmen. But before the driver can get the ambulance out of the garage, Argyle rams his limo into it and then knocks out the driver. In the last scene, Argyle picks up McClane and Holly, in the nearly destroyed limousine and delivers them safely, bloody and broken, to her home, for Christmas.

Argyle’s limo is a variant of the tried and true Lincoln Town Car. The first generation of stretched limousines had a long body, four-wheel drive, two dual headlights, and three glass windows on both sides. It was also equipped with a CD player, CB radio, full bar, a cellular telephone, a state-of-the-art VHS player, and a television, (that seems to get excellent reception in a concrete, underground parking garage.

I’m skipping all the juicy movie parts, simply because, if you’ve never seen it, it’s awesome.

Some tell-tale quotes from the film include, the FBI guy in charge getting on his walkie-talkie and saying: “We’re Gonna Need Some More FBI Guys, I Guess”.  Then there’s Argyle after a bad guy is tossed out of a window by McClane and lands on a police car hood, who says: “If This is their idea of Christmas, I gotta be here for New Year’s Eve.” And last, but most iconic, is McClane’s quote after he pissed off the bad guy once again, “Yippee-Ki-Yay, Motherf**ker”. (Which has been emblazoned on tee shirts in every nation on Earth.

And our special holiday gift to you is this hilarious, but little-known Die Hard (Battery) commercial, featuring both Bruce Willis as John McClane, De’voreaux White as Argyle, and the 1988 Lincoln limo as itself.

Fraser Fast Facts

• When Argyle rams Theo’s van, the front end of the limousine is thoroughly wrecked. When he comes through the gate at the end of the movie, it’s more or less intact. (The gate itself also would have caused more damage than is visible.)
• Argyle turns on the C.B. radio and listens to police radio traffic. Police don’t use CB’s.
• There is no ambulance in the truck when the terrorists first arrive, but Theo drives an ambulance out of the truck near the end of the movie (error acknowledged by filmmakers).
• When the terrorists are first walking in as a group looking very serious and sinister, the one on the far left is on a collision course with the wall! The camera cuts away just before he walks into it.
• After the terrorists blow the roof up, and the hostages are running down the stairs, one of the hostages gets hit in the head with a softball-sized rock and it doesn’t faze him.
• Gruber speaks Germanic-tinged English but, when caught by Willis, speaks flawless American English.
• When McClain calls the Emergency Distapch he uses a radio yet the Dispatch operator sees a telephone number on the computer screen.
• McClane swings through the window on the hose and lands on his back. In the next shot, he’s on his chest.
• The FBI sends two helicopters to Nakatomi, but just before the John-on-the-roof sequences, the second helicopter disappears and is never seen again.
• Prior to climbing down an elevator shaft staircase, McClane (who is supposed to be barefoot) is clearly seen wearing shoes as he jumps through an elevated service door.
• Throughout the course of the movie, Bruce Willis’ undershirt goes from white to a solid Army Green, then changes to a mix of some white and green.
• When Powell reverses his car after getting shot at, the rear doors turn black when they were white in earlier shots. They then turn white again after.
• The wound on Sgt. Powell’s forehead disappears once the FBI arrives.
• After the 911 call gets canceled, the guard goes to floor 32 where John is. When the guard turns on the lights, the camera crew is reflected in the window.